Ben Johnson, Camper
I was a 10-year-old when I first learned about Camp Rainbow Gold, after my treatment for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma was finally done! For two years I had to endure so much: weeks of chemotherapy, days upon days in the hospital, and so many moments that were lost and lonely. Initially, upon hearing about Camp Rainbow Gold from my doctor, I was skeptical. I wasn’t even sure if I was ready to be with other kids who have been through cancer too. I was just starting to feel like me again, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to relive everything. But my parents encouraged me, and something about the idea of being with other kids who understood what I had been through started to sound comforting. So, I signed up, super nervous!
The first time I came to Camp Rainbow Gold, I was really scared. I did not know anybody, and I still felt too different. It seemed like everyone else knew exactly where they were going, who to talk to, and all that. I noticed people already pairing up with their friends that they want to sit with on the bus. I was rather anxious myself, unsure I fit. Maybe, just coming here was a mistake. They made it seem like everyone was okay, and no one ever had problems, but there was more.
Then came the turning point of my experience: there was one kid who approached me asking how I was doing which immediately made me light up! It felt so real. He listened to me talk about my experiences as a cancer patient! It felt different than any actual conversation I’d had in a really long time. I wasn’t just another kid who had been sick! Actually, I was a kid who had survived something really hard and now was ready to start figuring out how to move forward. I came out of my shell little by little and got acquainted with all the other kids there. No one judged anyone, and at that moment, I was not alone anymore.
We sat at a campfire one night. The stars were bright; the air was cold, and on that stage counselors were singing silly songs and telling jokes. We laughed, sang songs, and told stories about our past. I heard from other kids who had fought through cancer just like I had; some were now in remission, but most still had a lot of treatments ahead, though they all seemed to carry with them that strength I was just beginning to see in myself. It wasn’t about being “cancer free”; it was to find a way of living with it-to be okay with the scars, yet still dream of the future. I laughed and cried that night, for the first time in quite a long while, with a piece of mind.
The coming days were full of doing things which I never thought I was going to do. For the first time since my diagnosis, I went hiking, played football in front of the cafeteria, and even tried archery. Though my body wasn’t as strong as it used to be, every step forward felt like I was just another normal kid. I bonded over games with my new friends and learning what it means to embrace life again. There was something in Camp Rainbow Gold that I had never felt anywhere else: such energy of the joy in conquering the impossible, the joy in celebrating beauty in life, no matter how hard it might get.